A Wolf of Her Own Read online

  He only released her mouth to glance around. Ancient trees formed an arching roof over the lane that cut through the forest, their bare branches thick enough to have kept the ground dry through the recent rains.

  Old leaves formed a soft mattress below the large trees. He carried her to one of them and put her down on her feet. He peeled off his coat quickly, she did the same, and they placed them on the ground. Then he kissed her again. They had been apart for too long.

  She reached her arms around his neck and pulled his head to her. Her hands wound into his hair, tucking, burrowing, causing tiny shivers to run down his spine. His hands wandered around her body, but her clothing frustrated his efforts to feel her.

  He began to pull their clothes off, his shirt first, then hers and her bra. Her hands were already opening his jeans. He wasn’t wearing anything under them and he hissed in pleasure mixed with pain when her cool fingers brushed against his heated flesh.

  She did it again, deliberately this time, a small smile on her face, her eyes holding his to gauge his reaction. His knees buckled, the pleasure of her hand on him unbearable. Hastily, he kicked his jeans and his trainers off.

  She made a small disappointed sound and he smiled, delighted that a vampire would want to play like a wolf. "Next time," he promised, as he opened her jeans. "It’s too cold for it now." Slow wasn’t an option today. His wolf was impatient to make her theirs too. It had never participated before and he didn’t know how to control its enthusiasm.

  She felt the same urgency and bent over to push her jeans and everything underneath down and off with one graceful, smooth motion, revealing a beautiful body that made him wish he’d had the strength to wait until they got to her house. He wanted to explore the svelte curves and soft mounds slowly.

  She shivered with the cold and he pulled her against him, skin against skin, warmth against warmth, his hardness against her softness. The quickening of their Might energies pushed his arousal to new heights, threatening to make him come before he had even began. She inhaled sharply, feeling it too.

  He held her tighter, his erection pulsing between them, demanding attention, and kissed her with all the urgency he felt. They sank on the clothes and stretched on them, she on her back and he on his side right by her.

  Gods, she was so beautiful. He promised himself he would look properly the next time, and all the times after that, but right now he had to act. He leaned over her and carefully held one of her breasts, the perfect size for his hand, soft and so white he could see the blue veins through her skin. He placed a kiss on it and then sucked the rosy tip into his mouth.

  She gasped and a hand burrowed into his hair, to pull him away or to push him deeper, he didn’t know. He repeated the action, harder, and she moaned. The sound reverberated inside him. His wolf howled. Gritting his teeth, he forced his wolf to the background.

  Slowly, enjoying every sensation, he brushed his hand down her torso. The muscles on her stomach tensed in anticipation and her hand in his hair gripped him harder. He tried his best to slow down, to allow her to get comfortable with the sensation of his hand so close to her intimate parts. Her muscles relaxed and her legs parted for him. He slipped his fingers between them, into the soft folds. The scent of her arousal was intoxicating, urging him to act faster, but he controlled himself.

  She felt warm under his fingers, slick and damp. He glided his fingers over her, gently, firmly. She moaned and parted her legs more, lifting her hips to meet his hand. He found her tight core and he sank first one and then two fingers inside her, coaxing and readying her. She thrust up and his fingers sank deeper. Her hand formed a fist in his hair, urging him to move his fingers, and he obliged. She shuddered and came into his hand with a satisfied mewl.

  That was as much as he could take. He moved over her, between her legs. He took a hold of himself, preparing to guide his erection into her, but halted at the last second. Protection.

  "Magic," she said hastily, understanding why he had stopped. It was all he needed to know, and with a groan, he sank deep into her.

  The sensation of her tight muscles around his cock almost made him come instantly. Holding himself very still, he managed to stave off the budding orgasm. He closed his eyes and concentrated on moving as slowly as possible, relishing every sensation their joined flesh created.

  She was still recovering from her orgasm and her core contracted around him, causing tremors of pleasure to shoot from his cock through his entire body, shutting down his brain. It was too much and he let his restraints go. His orgasm built fast, but he wouldn’t finish until she had come too.

  She wrapped her arms around his neck and pulled herself up against him. Her mouth found his neck, kissing, caressing. Then a tiny scrape of teeth, followed by a sharp pain as her fangs sank into his throat. Her mouth tight on his throat, she sucked.

  He shattered to pieces with the most amazing orgasm of his life.

  Exquisite pleasure contracted Gemma’s insides and arched her back, breaking her connection with Kieran’s throat. She didn’t mind. His blood was as potent as she had hoped, vitalising her even in small doses. She was content to lie still, enjoying the aftershocks of her delicious climax and the Might coursing through her body.

  It took them a while to catch their breath. "That. Was. Amazing," Kieran finally managed to say. "Is it like this every time you feed?"

  She shook her head. "I’ve never fed during sex before. It’s usually very clinical, like taking a blood sample."

  "Good," he stated smugly, and she understood. This level of intimacy during feeding could only be shared with an important person. She hadn’t dared even dream of such closeness with a man, experiencing him with all her being.

  Warmth filled her, and she tightened her hold of him, as if to prolong the feeling. Or bottle it so it wouldn’t affect the Rider. He hugged her back, equally fiercely. "Let me close the wound for you." But when she looked at it, it was already disappearing. "That’s interesting. I’ve only ever fed from humans before. They don’t heal that fast."

  He touched his throat. "I shouldn’t be healing this fast either, with my reserves so low."

  Remorse hit her. "I shouldn’t have fed from you."

  "Nonsense. You needed blood and it was my privilege to provide it." His voice brooked no argument. "Besides, curiously, my reserves seem to have been filled up."

  She turned her attention inside and noticed that despite the interrupted feeding, her Might reserves were almost full too. "I wonder how."

  He rolled off her onto his back, pulling her to lay on him as he went. He smiled at her tenderly. "It’s because we belong together. Might has decided so."

  Her stomach tightened and she inhaled sharply to ward off the nausea his words caused. Might had decided her parents belonged together too. The Hunger had bound them together. He looked hurt and she leaned over to kiss him. "Sounds so portentous," she said playfully.

  He allowed her to coax a smile from him, but he was still tense. "What are you afraid of?"

  She sighed and sat up, straddling him. "I don’t know … it’s just that I don’t really know you and suddenly you’re declaring happily ever after."

  He brushed a lock of hair from her face. "No one said it will be happily ever after. That’ll require some work. But without you, I’ll be unhappy for the rest of my life."

  Like Father. "I don’t even know if we’re compatible. What if Might has got it wrong because I’m a vampire?" She had never heard the Hunger would work for anyone else than vampires; perhaps the same was true with shifters too.

  "I guess that’s possible," he said lightly, but his eyes were serious. She shivered and he shot to action. "Come, let’s get you back into your clothes and home. We’ll take a warm shower." His suggestive smile told exactly what kind of shower he had in mind.

  She smiled, happy that the serious talk was over. "Don’t get your hopes up. Tom’s boiler is ancient."

  The dogs were asleep on the trailer and they didn’t bother wakin
g up when she started the engine. Kieran wrapped himself around her and he felt wonderful there, strong and safe. He held her tightly, leaning his head on her shoulder, placing small kisses on her throat. Maybe they could stay like this without bringing forever into it.

  That could happen.

  It might have happened too, if he hadn’t started talking again when they arrived at the house. "Have you been in a long relationship before?"

  Gemma pulled the vehicle over by the barn before answering. "No. I’ve never wanted to."

  "Really? Not once in—what—a hundred or so years?"

  They climbed off the vehicle. "I wanted to get married and start a family when I was still human, but there weren’t that many opportunities for opposite sexes to mingle back then, let alone for a vampire’s daughter to mingle with humans." He frowned and she lifted her hands, placating. "I know you don’t like humans, but when I was marrying age I absolutely didn’t want to be a vampire, so I would’ve looked for a spouse among humans." He nodded and she continued.

  "After I was made a vampire, it took a while to get accustomed to it so marriage wasn’t an option. I didn’t really date before the free love of 1960s. It was great time for me." She smiled, remembering some of the wilder things she had done, enjoying the London scene to Tom’s horror. Kieran smiled too, his memories likely similar. "But the novelty passed soon enough."

  "How about now?" he asked, when they moved to let the dogs off the trailer. They ran around for a while, then headed towards their pen where they waited for them to open the door.

  "My options aren’t much better now, are they? The Rider is a harsh master."

  He nodded. "It’s different with shifters. Might eases the strain strong emotions put on our self-control." He lifted a hand to her cheek. It felt warm against her cool skin. She leaned her face into his palm, needing the contact. He smiled. "You feel it too, Might pulling us together, the call my wolf has put out for you."

  "Like Hunger…" An overwhelming need to flee met her resolve to make him see her side of things, and made her knees jerk. "That will only lead to destruction and despair."

  Chapter Fifteen

  Kieran recoiled. "What do you mean? The call is the most beautiful thing a shifter can experience." He couldn’t name the emotion he felt: upset, disappointed, or perhaps angry that she would reject it.

  She had tears in her eyes and instantly his need to console her wiped away other emotions. The call was causing his need, but he didn’t mind. That was its purpose, creating a mutual bond between two shifters to take care of one another. It would work between a shifter and a vampire too. It had to.

  She wiped her eyes angrily before he had the chance. "Oh, it starts beautifully, all right. And then one of us goes bonkers, tries to kill her own children and has to be restrained by the Crimson Circle who’ll eventually see her dead. Then the other spends the rest of his life mourning for her, living in the past and what-ifs, forcing his children there with him, before dying centuries ahead of his time out of grief."

  "I’m sorry." His heart ached for her.

  She looked at him, defiant. "I don’t want your pity. I want you to understand why it wouldn’t work. Why I can’t risk a relationship. Why I can’t fall in love."

  That, he couldn’t accept. "It’s true that these things don’t always go as they’re meant to. Things went bad with Jamie and his wife. His wolf put out a call for a human who didn’t feel it. When her love for him died she left him. Now he’s without his mate, unable to let go and find a new one because his wolf won’t let him."

  She shook her head, upset and angry. He could feel her emotions churning, the coolness of her vampire energy changing. It wasn’t warming up; it was getting darker, almost oppressive. "But at least she didn’t try to kill their daughter first. That was never in the books for them."

  "Why would it happen to you either? You’re not your mother." He reached for her, wanting to pull her to him, to calm and console her, but she stepped back. He didn’t pursue her; she clearly didn’t want to be touched. But not helping her wasn’t an option so he surrounded her with his Might energy.

  He put as much warmth and calm into it as he could, intending to soothe her, but it didn’t work. There was a barrier around her, not like her shields but something alien. Like her, but with a twist, as if influenced by another being, someone angry.

  Her eyes flashed in gold. "Oh, but I am like my mother. I’m a vampire too. And I have a monster inside me."

  There was no denying that someone else was creeping to the surface within her, making itself felt on her energy, showing itself in flashes on her face. But the creature felt familiar too. It was her, only different, more primal and desperate to get free. He couldn’t reject it any more than he was able to push her away. His wolf had chosen all of her, not just the bits and pieces that were easy. The man could do no less.

  He reached for her again and she didn’t pull back this time. He placed his hand on her shoulder, careful not to crowd her. If the entity inside her was anything like a wolf when it went feral, it was important not to push. "You’re strong. You can control it."

  Her anger spiked, getting worse instead of better. "Oh yes, I can control it. See how well I’m controlling it now. And you know how I’m controlling it? By controlling my emotions! And it’s not just negative emotions I have to watch out for. It’s positive ones too. The stronger they are, the worse it is. How about love? Do you know what happens when a vampire falls in love? This happens. So I can’t afford to feel anything."

  Her words stunned him. Was this his fault? He was pushing her to feel and it clearly caused her distress. "But vampires fall in love just like everyone else."

  "Not at my age they don’t."

  "I can wait." He didn’t doubt for a second that he would wait for her for as long as it took. He was young too; he had time.

  "I don’t want you to bloody wait!"

  Her eyes had turned completely golden and an alien presence was looking out of them. She squeezed them closed and breathed heavily. She was struggling and he had no idea how to help her. Desperate, he drew her into his arms and surrounded her with his warmth again. Her energy, the alien presence, struggled with him, but he wouldn’t abandon her.

  Gradually, her energy ceased roiling, but the alien presence remained. She drew a deep breath. "This isn’t helping. Your emotions affect me as much as my own. I need to be alone to gain control of my Rider. You have to go." Even her voice sounded different, deeper.

  He didn’t like it. "Will you be all right?"

  "I hope so." It wasn’t exactly a resounding yes, but it would have to do. "Don’t come back until it’s time to go to the golf course." She didn’t wait for his answer, but rushed indoors, closing the door with a deliberate thud.

  Kieran waited for a few moments to see if she was coming back. Then he sighed and went to let the dogs into their pen and give them fresh water. He needed to go change his clothes, but he would return immediately to keep an eye on the farm and on her. He needed to know that she was safe.

  And if that meant keeping her safe from herself too, so be it.

  ***

  The security at the golf course weren’t happy that they had to show their footage to a bunch of outsiders on a Saturday and they made that clear. Kieran was off balance as it was, after spending the morning worrying about Gemma, and every negative gesture pushed at his nerves. He wanted to take it out on the team—three middle-aged men who didn’t look fit enough for their jobs—finding it increasingly difficult to come up with a reason not to.

  He wouldn’t get any help from Gemma in calming himself. She had got her Rider under control and didn’t emanate any Might energy whatsoever anymore. She held herself rigid, as if fearing any gesture of empathy would break the leash that bound her second nature. Even her formal clothing suggested she had raised a shield between her and the world. The grey pantsuit and red high-heeled shoes made her slender figure look amazing. Her wild hair was tied in a neat knot, and
her discreet makeup emphasised her beauty, but they were obviously meant to hold her together. He admired her looks, but he missed the muddy creature he had originally met. That woman hadn’t worried about showing emotions.

  Kieran wasn’t too concerned though. Her eyes had flashed in interest when he had shown up at her front door after waiting in his car for hours. He didn’t usually put much store in clothing, but he was an architect and understood the impact a sculpted figure would strike in a slim-fit V-neck cashmere knit, well cut jeans, fine leather boots, and a blazer. He had aimed to please her, but also to counter the first impression he had made on the golf course security. That it didn’t work on the latter wasn’t a great loss.

  A vampire DI had waited for them at the golf course parking lot, a tiny woman with blonde pixie-cut hair. She was cute as a button, but had such a strong presence, even without Might adding to it, that one couldn’t overlook her.

  She introduced herself briskly. "DI Philippa Audley, Metropolitan Police Homicide and Serious Crime Command. This is DS Adrian Moore."

  He was a human male in his late twenties or early thirties, tall and grim, and for a human dominant enough that Kieran immediately deemed him a threat. His wolf aura surged out towards the bloke with a snarl. Only with an effort Kieran managed not to follow its lead.

  Gemma and Philippa tensed, ready to intervene should they be needed. The image of two rather small women putting him to his place proved amusing enough for him to snap out of his killing mood. He was even able to nod politely at the other man when Gemma introduced them. As unaware of the hostility of Kieran’s aura as the human was, he at least had the good sense not to offer his hand to either of them. He wouldn’t have survived the stupidity.

  "Thank you for coming on such short notice, and on Saturday even. But I wasn’t aware that homicide detectives investigated dead dogs," Gemma said, clearly fishing.